MY VAGINA IS PERFECT... AND SO IS YOURS!
Before you say it, I know what you’re thinking. Nichole, what the hell are you thinking writing this?
Put simply, this is exactly what I needed to hear six years ago.
Before I had babies, I was certain that childbirth would ruin my vagina.
My mother had a third degree tear with her first birth (my sister) and her story scared the shit out of me. I didn’t want to tear all the way to my butt!
I never understood how a baby could fit through a vagina without wrecking it.
It’s embarrassing to admit, but a Cesarean seemed far less painful. I mean, I’d have an epidural for the pain, a scar on my bikini line and my cookie would remain intact… no biggie right? Wrong.
A Cesarean is major abdominal surgery and a life saving procedure that should not be taken lightly. C-section to save a life - of course! C-section to save a vagina - not so much.
I also worried that sex would never be the same, both for myself and my partner.
How could it possibly feel the same after being stretched and torn? Would my husband even find me desirable after my vagina is jacked up? (PS - If you find yourself asking this last question, you might consider doing some internal worthiness work.)
Three births later, two of which were vaginal (9lb 4oz & 8lb 15oz), I realize that I grossly underestimated my vagina.
My vagina is perfect. And girl, so is yours!
Vaginas stretch, a lot.
Thanks to hormones and our miraculous bodies, our vaginal tissue relaxes and stretches during labor.
Also, when your baby is doing the turtle move (head goes in and out several times), they’re helping your vaginal tissue to stretch. Thank you little peanut!
For more information on the physiological process behind HOW this happens, check out the Birth Basics series here.
Vaginas open, like a flower.
The beautiful skin and folds of your vagina open like petals on a flower in full bloom.
Try visualizing a flower opening during your birth.. It worked for me!
Vaginas don’t always tear during birth.
Sometimes? Yes. Always? No.
Particularly when your vagina is left the f**k alone by well meaning doctors.
The masculine nature of protocols in the medical system can really mess with the feminine nature of the physiological process of birth.
Seriously, hands off! Did you catch when I told the EMT to ‘get his hands out of my vagina’ during my unplanned home birth?
The only exception is what I call the ‘butt hug,’ or perineal counterpressure. Not only does it feel amazing during labor, but it can reduce your chance of tearing.
For more on the physiological process of birth as it applies to vaginal tearing, check out my class “Vaginal Tearing - Education & Prevention” here.
Vaginas return to normal after birth.
After all of the swelling, stretching, opening, (possibly) tearing and other unrecognizable happenings - vaginas go back to normal.
It might take weeks, months, physical therapy, or even surgery. But, your vagina will be fine.
Unless you’re one of the *very* rare cases of serious complications, of course.
Here’s what I want you to know… Girl, your vagina is perfect!
It’s perfect if it births a baby.
It’s perfect if it doesn’t.
It’s perfect if it tears during birth.
It’s perfect if it needs a little extra healing time. Or a lot.
It’s perfect if it needs medical attention (or surgery) to help it along.
It’s perfect if it is swollen or hurts for a while after birth.
It’s perfect, even if you don’t recognize it for a while.
It’s perfect… because it’s yours.
A few more thoughts, because I can’t help myself:
Your body, your vagina, were made for this. God knew what he was doing when he created you.
Be selective with the information that you absorb from third parties. Just because your doctor that you’ve been seeing for several years tells you something… doesn’t mean it’s true, or that it’s for YOU.
The extra ‘husband stitch’ is bulls**t. Unnecessary. Uncalled for. BS.
Your vagina will stretch and open. Your pelvis will stretch and open.
Do your research. Listen to YOUR intuition. And decide for yourself what’s best for YOU.